I’ve been trawling different cafes around the estern and inner west suburbs of Sydney the past few months, doing some reviewing work for a Sydney guidebook coming out this year. Some of the winners I’ve been to include:

Clodeli in Clovelly for the coffee, rustic farmhouse atmosphere (the table had a basket of baby pumpkins on it!) and brilliant deli/cafe concept;
Gusto Espresso Bar in Coogee for that urban-beachy vibe and flat whites that taste like butter popcorn and caramel;
Sonoma Bakery Cafe (both in Paddington and Waterloo) for tasty sourdough treats;
The French House in Waterloo for the amazing 18th century French decor and decadent chocolate croissants;
Vargabar in Newtown – a quaint cornershop venue that serves what I consider to be the best cafe in Newtown (the baristas may be better at Campos, but the overall experience and lack of snobbery at Vargabar makes it my favourite);
XXII at Pyrmont, which serves a killer espresso (short black) and also has a great lunch menu.

There have been some disappointments too, but it’s not very ladylike behaviour to mention them! (P.S – the photo above is of me a couple of years ago at Fresh in Katoomba)

Nine weeks to go until motherhood begins.

What I’m anxious about:

1. Giving birth. I hear it hurts. My first two questions when we get to the hospital will be “how far along am I” and “how fast can you stick that needle in”.
2. That first day when we come home with the baby and realise we have no idea what we’re doing.
3. That I won’t be a very good mum. I once heard Mia Freedman in a radio interview say that she felt like she wasn’t cut out to be a mum because she was a terrible “player” – i.e. she wasn’t into craft, playing with toys, songs with actions, etc. I totally resonate with that.
4. Losing a part of my identity. Not so much the big stuff…I know I’ll still be me – loved by Jesus, owned by God. It’s more the little things; small components of my life that if I lost them after having children, well, to be honest I’d be a bit sad.
5. That I’ll get bored.

What I’m looking forward to:

1. Holding our son straight after giving birth. I think it will feel surreal.
2. Meeting our son. I keep wondering what he’s like – his personality, his looks, his habits, his likes and dislikes. I just want to meet him. I bet he’s awesome. I hope we become good friends.
3. Dressing our son up in a Tigger suit (think Winner the Pooh), though Sam has banned animal suits of any kind as he believes it a form of child abuse.
4. Raising a man who will follow the Lord all of his days. I pray about this a lot and I can’t wait to see how God answers those prayers.
5. Wearing my old clothes again. Before I fell pregnant, my thoughts on what it involved didn’t really move beyond Nicole Ritchie and her uber-cute maternity wardrobe. Now I’m a bit over the hippy dresses. I’m also looking forward to fitting into my bridesmaid dress for a friend’s wedding!
6. Having a halvie (or eurasian, if you want to be politically correct). I think our kid will be a hottie.

Last night I had my third painting class, which I’m enjoying immensely. In the first two classes, we just worked on colour charts: mixing paints, creating a tonal scheme, understanding how to match different colours for different effects. It felt a bit pointless at first, painting box after box of different colours, but I can now start to see how a good understanding of colour and how paints work is helpful. Last night, we did our first “tonal” painting – a still life comprised of different shapes to teach us how to create form out of different blocks of colour. I won’t post what I painted because it looks pretty ordinary! I hope I’ll get better as the classes progress.

Painting isn’t difficult, but it does require a different way of thinking, especially if you’ve only ever done drawings in the past. I’m very comfortable with charcoal, pastels and pencils, but something about paint terrified me in high school and uni, so I avoided the stuff as much as possible. Paint seemed so unpredictable and unruly. I never felt like I could master it the way I could a stick of charcoal. I’m starting to learn, though, that this is part of its beauty. Once you learn how to harness the paint and aren’t afraid of it, it can express things in a way that drawings don’t.

I’m also starting to remember why I liked art in the first place. I like how when you’re creating something, the world suddenly slows down and everything seems to disappear into shapes, colours and lines which you in turn can disappear into for hours on end. I like how painting teaches you to see the world in ways you wouldn’t ordinarily.

I’m also rather fond of our art teacher. He looks a bit rough around the edges, but he can talk for hours about anything: his kids, what’s happening in the news, various artists he likes (his favourite topic). Last night he was talking about the impressionists and how they chased light with their paintings. It was so fascinating, I felt like I was back in art history class at uni.

Hopefully I’ll be game next time to post pictures of my progress.

Good news this month: I managed to land three freelance writing jobs in the last few weeks. My first ones! Hooray!

The downside, though, is that it means I’ve unwittingly started doing the ‘working from home’ thing before figuring out what that actually means. We don’t have a study and the Mac is situated in our only living area – something that can’t be helped in a small apartment. On top of that, I’m using my personal mobile, our landline and email address for work. The result? A very messy line between work and play. For example, this morning I was doing some cooking to freeze for next week when someone rang for an interview and only had five minutes to spare. Pandemonium followed as cheese sauce went everywhere, noisy appliances were quickly turned off and a notepad was quickly located. Then I promptly forgot all my questions because I was so frazzled. I’m pretty sure the man who called thought I was insane.

I’m sure all of these are teething problems that will sort themselves out soon. There are lots of advantages to working from home. I like keeping my own hours, being able to make a coffee whenever I want, having an open window and summer breeze by my desk rather than sterile office lights. And I hope to keep writing after our baby is born, so figuring out all the easy stuff now (i.e. how to do an invoice) will mean less to worry about when the hard stuff comes up (i.e. remembering how to write on very little sleep!).

A friend of mine put me on to booko recently. It’s an Australian site which surfs the web and finds you the cheapest online prices for books. Plenty of Moore College set texts are available. Interestingly, Amazon is not often at the top of the list.

My favourite thing about a rainy day is how it makes lazing around and doing nothing seem like perfectly legitimate behaviour.

If the weather is warm, I always feel like I’m somehow wasting all that sunshine and being a spoil sport if I sit at home in my pyjamas, watching TV show reruns while eating mini muffins. But when it rains, I feel like the clouds are saying, “you’re really not missing much out here, so you may as well get back into bed”.

Right you are, clouds. Tonight’s activities include making a dessert for friends who are coming over tomorrow night, reading The Book of Rapture by Nikki Gemmel and watching a DVD while eating last night’s beef, pumpkin and beer stew. What’s your favourite thing to do in the rain?

Parenting can seem like a matter of formulas to the inexperienced. Raise a child a certain way, teach them good values and ta-da! A healthy and well adjusted adult eighteen years later. As our baby’s due date draws closer, I can’t help but dream of how we’re going to raise him to be the kind of man people can depend on. It doesn’t often occur to me that I could do everything “right” and still wind up with a son who is a drug addict, or who cheats on his wife, or is just plain intolerant or judgmental. He may even walk away from the faith that Sam and I hold to.

Leslie Leyland Fields writes on Christianity Today:

“Children are not tomatoes to stake out or mules to train, nor are they numbers to plug into an equation. They are full human beings wondrously and fearfully made. Parenting, like all tasks under the sun, is intended as an endeavor of love, risk, perseverance, and, above all, faith. It is faith rather than formula, grace rather than guarantees, steadfastness rather than success that bridges the gap between our own parenting efforts, and what, by God’s grace, our children grow up to become.”

Her article deflates the myth of the perfect parent and is worth persevering with even if you’re not into the God stuff (it’s seven pages long!). If anything, it’s a healthy balance to the endless parenting guides out there. I personally found this part helpful:

“It is likely that we are asking the wrong questions as parents. We are so focused on ourselves—on our own need for success and the success of our children—that we have come to view parenting as a performance or a test...We cannot pass this test, I’m afraid, nor could we ever. If we are graded on a curve, we will always find parents and children who are more obedient, more joyful, and more peaceful than we are. We will find parents whose children turned out better than ours, parents with a higher percentage of “spiritual champions” than we can claim for our efforts.

If we are graded instead on an absolute scale—as I believe we are—we fail even more miserably. But this is why a Savior was provided, and gifted to us through grace, through faith—”and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). If even our ability to believe in God is given to us by God, then how much of parenting can we perform on our own? We must proceed, then, on our knees first, beggars before the throne, if we are to parent well.”

Breakfast was a hurried affair when I had a full-time job – a piece of toast or bowl of cereal, coffee then straight out the door. Since I’ve stopped working, I’ve enjoyed taking my time in the mornings and breakfast is now my favourite meal of the day.

In honour of this often undervalued meal, I took a picture of this morning’s breakfast table. It’s wholemeal toast with vegemite and peanut butter, accompanied by my morning flat white. In the corner is my journal and Bible. I like to take my time eating, read for a bit, pray and write some thoughts down before starting the day. My thoughts aren’t always particularly deep or spiritual. Today it was a couple of short prayers for a few people in my life. The other day it was a wish list from Ikea.

I wish I’d cooked something flash, or that my coffee making skills were up to scratch so I could show off a silky rosetta in the photo. Maybe next time.

Hello all. We’re back after a two month break. Sorry for the perpetual “maintenance” sign and the fact we weren’t back after 60 minutes!

Much has happened since we went offline, the biggies being I was made redundant, Sam started full time work at Pablo and Rusty’s (he stops when the college term starts) and we moved into our new place in Newtown. Lots of people have asked me since I stopped work “so what are you doing with yourself now?” Lots of different things. Helping out with church more. Playing the drums more. Cooking meals for different people. A few writing projects here and there, the latest being reviewing cafes for the coffee guide. Spending time with friends and family. Growing a baby. And on Tuesday, I start painting classes at Art on King, which I’m very excited about.

Hopefully Sam and I will be posting more soon. The picture above is taken by Sam from our holiday at Macmasters’ beach just before New Year’s Eve.

The other day I recieved a two-for-one movie voucher to see Jane Campion’s new movie Bright Star in January (and here is a link to a gorgeous website on the production of the film). I’m quite keen to see it as I’m a massive fan of Campion’s work, but would you believe I’ve never read any poetry by John Keats? Shameful, I know. I’d like to read some before I see the movie in early 2010. Any suggestions from Keats lovers on what poems to start with?

Anyway, I also thought I’d use this chance to put up a poem I have read. It’s called Woman to Man by Judth Wright and it’s one of my favourites.